Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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