I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
