and she was petting her beer can
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
