You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize