i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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