didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
barbara walters just said penis...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just gargled with NyQuil
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
