If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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