Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
