I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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