So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
