so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
