This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
