What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
