Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
