??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
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