I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
