Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
