I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
