wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
