I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
