once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
