doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
