I got chris browned last night
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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