I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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