garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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