someone get that fucking seahorse.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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