the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
