Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
