he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
