You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
