That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
