youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
