check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize