Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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