Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
handjob tips. give me some.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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