worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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