She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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