She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
