We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
