i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
too bad you live with your parents still
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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