You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
