weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And then my night got REAL pukey
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
