we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
