Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
