At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
