Do you still have your period?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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