What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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