Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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