hell yes lets make some ravioli
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
