he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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