Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
