I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
