another moral hangover. fuck.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
