Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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