I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
