I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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